i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
