is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
