question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
