We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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