Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
