I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
