I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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