The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I smell stomach acid.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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