Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
