She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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