I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
