fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
