Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
