How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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