just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
