your room smells of hookers.
And success
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
