have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
