I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
