Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
