what day is it and did you see me today?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
