the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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