you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
