WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
