You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
