you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Randomize
