Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
