he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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