mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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