We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
