Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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