my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
