i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My vagina just recognized that song.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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