Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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