I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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