Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
