We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
