marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
