I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
