You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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