By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
