I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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