I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
