i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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