Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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