my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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