Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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