Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
