i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
did i walk over a car last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
