my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
