i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
